i had started to write this post after a brreif convo with phoenix mars is in her sign - i wonder for how long- and jupiter is in mine. venus id in darkdaughtas and phonix is mad. bongafish is mad. everybody's mad cause they think i'm self indulgent and it's destructive. i tried to say that i'm frustrated with my process- in the places where yeah i wish i could whip off her messages, i with they hung together in actual scentes like bonga fishes hell i wish i even had the impetius to communicate that allows biafra krunk toput her typos out there for all to see. - i think of today with te test - at work and the frustration i feel right now sounds like
"everybodys better than me ."
everything feels like a tesat in school and everyones done and its just me and the teacher. the teacher is not actually waiting for me. theyre goin about their work- theri just noting that im the last one. they cant help me - i have to do the test myself.
whose crazy idea is this blogging this shit during mercury retrograde? the only thing i can think of its a helluva test and doesnt it make sense- that it will force me to work my hardest to be understood.
is this what this is about?...a little blip of remembering... wait- chiron...)
yes always.
- ha the tears.
so yah this is what i'm doing feeling sorry fo rmy lot in the midsof azania burning. sorry for my makeup, not sorry for what i've done though. cause i'm not done. and maybe this is the flip side to everyone is better than me- it's that on our spirit level we know exactly what were doing. and my timing is perfect.
context for this - the authority i have been refering to - the truth still pliable and so not absolute - but what i return to as an anchor - something to check in with. this is how i orient myself in my own life.


meaning in life
questing journey and evolution
relationship to power
filtering information processing through the senses
solitude for that process
"scorpios dont want really opinion or advice they want a witness- the wrench in the wheel of that is that it assumes the other person is "objective" or their lives are not entangle in the development and
said hiding non communicative.
IN AZANIA the question has been for me all along- what kind of scorpio surrounds itself with people? am i mad ? is this some kind of fancy self sabotabe so backwards that it looks like it would be beneficial and healthy - but itsa ctuall y the epitomy of seldf sabotage and failure doomed in fact. an dyou know its both it was the best thing i could have don e for myseelf and the worse in terms of where i'am a t. good for a future i guess. this is where knowing yoursel f is key i guess- iremembering admiring kennoen saying i knwo myself enough to know that - theraoy aand all what your offering would be hugely triggering to me- that hos model was still not enough love for him. but what about trying?
but i mean i was already